Sometimes Writing is Not Easy

I seem to have finally managed to get myself back into the swing of writing regularly on book three of the Songbird River Chronicles, but it has been a chore, let me tell you.

I made a mistake, see, and took a break for a day. That day turned into a weekend, which turned into a week. Before I knew it, a month had gone by with no new words created.

It sucked. I felt awful, like I was being a waste of a human being because I just couldn’t get myself to do some productive work on a project that I enjoyed. I read back over my chapter outlines to reaffirm that, yes, I was still excited about the story and I wanted to tell it, but I still couldn’t make myself sit at the keyboard and put letters together. Every time I thought about doing it, all of my energy would just drain away, until I opened up Facebook or Imgur or some stupid browser game and wasted three or five hours of my time.

Ugh.

Finally, I managed to feel so loathsome and disgusted with myself at my lack of progress that I FORCED myself to sit in the chair and write a pitiful word count of what I’m sure will be seven or eight hundred of some of the most garbage words ever created. But I wrote them, I did not delete them, and I called myself successful for a day.

This week hasn’t been perfect. I’ve had a few days here and there where I couldn’t get anything done, either because I was genuinely busy or because the energy drained away again and I whiled away more of my life pissing about on the internet. My word counts for the first few days were much smaller than I generally like to report, but I refused to let myself feel defeated by them, instead focusing on the fact that I had generated infinitely more words than I had on the days that I scrolled through Imgur.

Seriously, I should probably block that site.

Anyway. Today, I’m sitting so far at a little over 2,000 words. I may write more this evening, but I’m not sure. I’ve hit a few good winds, sections where the words flow out nice and easy, and I’m not struggling to figure out what I’m trying to say. I’ve also hit some snags, where I DO have to sit back from the desk and stare at the ceiling for five or ten minutes and make my brain come back around to focus on the keyboard. Those are frustrating, and are the parts where I’m most likely to deviate back to the internet.

So I’m making slower progress on this book than I wanted to. It’s a horrible cycle, actually, because part of the problem comes from the fact that I have other books that I’m waiting to write, that I’m VERY excited to write, but I CAN’T write them until I finish this book. But because I’m excited to get to those other books, I lack the excitement for this one, making it drag on and on.

Basically, it’s hard. It’s very difficult  to do something creative when you’re not feeling inspired, when every word that you pull out of your brain digs its fingers in and claws and scratches to stay inside.

Sometimes, writing is easy, but not this week.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Dayle
    Jun 01, 2014 @ 20:03:39

    The best I can tell you is that although it never really gets better, you’ll learn workarounds and tricks and sneaky ways to boost your subconscious into writing.

    And sometimes, it means you need to take a guilt-free break to recharge. (I say this in part to remind myself of that fact!)

    Reply

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